but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
