Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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