when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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