the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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