Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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