the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she smelled like a LAN party
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
