margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
