thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
