i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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