Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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