i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Sorry about my life...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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