Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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