Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
