Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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