Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
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This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize