...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
