everyone is single if you try hard enough
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
