I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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