Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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