My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize