Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
