he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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