just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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