Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
