I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
