apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
