she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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