1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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