and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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