There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
