i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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