Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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