you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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