What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
