could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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