It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
