there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Randomize
