i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
