Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize