At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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