I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize