I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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