So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
