he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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