Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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