i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
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It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
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Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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