NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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