just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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