why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
