come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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