he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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