So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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