For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
