somebody snuck up and got me drunk
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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