Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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