i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Princesses don't give blow jobs
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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