you guys were way drunker than both of me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
