we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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