Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
