I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
