I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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