I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
